Having trouble getting hold of any of the above? Luckily for you, your body actually produces a perfect natural lubricant in the form of spit.

With the newfound popularity of skateboarding amongst the fashion industry someone is bound to see you gobbing heartily on your skateboard at some point, think that you’re hard or punk or both, and offer you a sweet modelling contract worth millions. Then you can save those precious bodily fluids and make a go of option number 9.