Vogue Magazine’s ‘Skateboard Week’ was packed to the brim with the most cringeworthy yet hilarious looks at our four wheeled plank from the outside in – like a slightly demented great aunt determined to gain some sense of why you’ve dedicated yourself to throwing yourself at concrete – the term ‘stylin’ making at least one appearance, pictures of Nordberg dressed as a 1970s curtain and, one of our personal favourites, ‘An Ode to Great Skater Hair’ with its tagline ‘Skaters are nonconformists down to the length of their hair.’

We obviously couldn’t let this shite go without a response and, once we’d recovered from a certain desensitisation to nonsense, got started on Sidewalk Magazine’s very own Fashion Week. As part of that, here is ‘An Ode to Really, Really Bad Skater Haircuts’.

Obviously this is a pisstake, and no offense is meant – except to Vogue…

Pictures of Kris Markovich’s pigtails were unfortunately too hard to dig out from the depths of skate history, but we recommend imagining them.

Peter Smolik

It shows just how well Smolik was skating in 1998 that he could walk away with the ‘Best Style’ award at Transworld’s Reader Awards of that year, despite rocking braids like a champ…these days he looks like Jay from the Kevin Smith films, which is actually pretty dope.