“Tell Gegglesface Iav dun his questions fur him.” That was the first text from Div about what you are about to read. It was followed 2 minutes later by another that simply read “and dannae change the words either”.
In keeping with Divs wish, what you are about to read is exactly as it arrived in my inbox earlier this week, I haven’t changed one word.
Hows the plumbing work going?
NAE BAD AM SICK OF IT
Any interesting incidents recently?
EVERY FRIDAY FIRST BEER OF THE WEEKEND AT 3:30PM
You’ve just got back from Liverpool skating the new bowl and fullipe, how was that?
Who did you skate with, anything good happen?
SCOTTY MACA ASBO@DRIFTWOOD@JOSH L.B.P N CHRIS WEIR
What else have you been up to lately?
DRINKIN N SKATIN
Skated any new parks/ spots/ etc?
AYE DRUM N BASSIN N SUM SPOTS KINGY TOOK ME TO
Hows your section for Savoir Faire coming along?
A DUNNO NEED A SONG
Who have you been working on that with?
ALEX ‘FUCKIN’ IRVINE N KEV PARROT BUT HES A DWEEB.HA
Weren’t you meant to go out to America recently?
AYE BUT CANI GO NEED TO GO TAE COURT
THE WEE PRICK THT PHONED THE POLIS NEVER TURNED UP THE FIRST TIME TAE COURT
Are you still planning on going out to America?
AYE SOON AS THIS COURT THING IS OVER WHICH SHOULD BE THIS MONDAY
Whos going out with you, how long are you planning on staying and what are you hoping to do whilst you’re there?
A DUNNO ALEX MAYBE N SUM OTHER PEEPS AL MEET THEM THERE
Hows Napalm Jeff, havent seen him at many events recently, whats he been up to?
GOIN TO SEE NAPALM DEATH HIMSELF
Powley wants to know: Whats the best number of beers to drink before a skate?
A DUNNO KEEP DRINKIN THEM TILL YE CANI SKATE
Have you ever got so drunk that you cant skate?
Any funny stories from the recent Indy tour?
MUSON ITS A DOGGY WOGGY FLOGGY MOGGY WOGGY DOGGY(BEN REAMERS ACCENT)
Whats your current music of choice?
ANYTHIN APART FAE ART FAG MUSIC
And lastly, do you think that your cameo street lines in Vans UK tour DVD have ushered a new dawn in street skating?
AW DEFIENTLY YEAH I THINK ITS CHANGED SKATEBORDING FOR EVERY WHY SKATE WHEN YE CAN RUN (FUCK STREET SKATIN ITS TOO MUCH ENGERY INVOLVED)