Vogue Magazine's 'Skateboard Week' was packed to the brim with the most cringeworthy yet hilarious looks at our four wheeled plank from the outside in - like a slightly demented great aunt determined to gain some sense of why you've dedicated yourself to throwing yourself at concrete - the term 'stylin' making at least one appearance, pictures of Nordberg dressed as a 1970s curtain and, one of our personal favourites, 'An Ode to Great Skater Hair' with its tagline 'Skaters are nonconformists down to the length of their hair.'

We obviously couldn't let this shite go without a response and, once we'd recovered from a certain desensitisation to nonsense, got started on Sidewalk Magazine's very own Fashion Week. As part of that, here is 'An Ode to Really, Really Bad Skater Haircuts'.

Obviously this is a pisstake, and no offense is meant - except to Vogue...

Pictures of Kris Markovich's pigtails were unfortunately too hard to dig out from the depths of skate history, but we recommend imagining them.

Peter Smolik

It shows just how well Smolik was skating in 1998 that he could walk away with the 'Best Style' award at Transworld's Reader Awards of that year, despite rocking braids like a champ...these days he looks like Jay from the Kevin Smith films, which is actually pretty dope.

Peter Smolik hair

Rob Wootton

Rob Wootton rips every spot in his path to pieces, all whilst looking like someone who'd happily spend a full day of their weekend in Bluewater Shopping Centre...

Rob Wootton Hair

Kevin Staab

The haircuts may change, but the backside ollie stays floated as fuck...

Kevin Staab Hair

Corey Duffel

We don't know what Armourdillo is, but we're stoked that Corey Duffel was channelling the spirit of Hook from the Daggers at this particular point in time...

Corey Duffel hair

Jereme Rogers

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!

Jereme Rogers Hair