Ah...Carve Wicked. A finger in the eye of today's overly serious skateboard scene.
Since its evolution from a hand signal and/or a chant heard across the valleys into a skateboard company, the Sam Pulley piloted Carve Wicked skateboard brand has been resolute in its commitment to a few principles.
Principle number 1 - all graphics will be based on the premise that 'taking the piss is better than pretending that the pictures on your skateboard are in anyway profound'. This same maxim is further reinforced by adding, 'not only take the piss with your graphics' but 'actively try to wind people up too' - a business model that has succeeded to date with each range of Carve Wicked decks released so far selling out.
Principle number 2 - all Carve Wicked riders will skate however the fuck they want and show complete and utter disregard towards what is considered trendy. This means inverts, early grabs and skating those big curved things that you can usually see in the background of those Instagram clips that people post of themselves doing late flips on the flat bottom.
In tune with the above, Summer 2018 sees the lovable Welsh/Scottish idiots return with a range of pro boards (for Sam Pulley, Sox and Colin Adam), a team board emblazoned with dog poo and a suitably tranny oriented clip of team heads Pulley, Sox, Dannie Carlsen and Colin Adam, alongside some familiar friends of the Carve via Harry Deane.
You can see each of the new boards below - along with info on sizing etc.
Now go early grab into some dog soldiers!
Colin Adam - 'Ultimate Warrior' (AKA 'Ultimate Roider') Pro Skateboard
The largest of Carve Wicked's offerings coming in at 33 inches in length and 9 inches wide.
Owen 'Sox' Watkins - 'Crabs not Abs' Pro Skateboard
This celebration of genital lice comes in at a slightly more diminutive 32.13 inches in length and 8.5 inches wide. Whether this graphic is intended to suggest that furiously scratching your crotch can be as enjoyable as pumping iron is unclear but if you enjoy upsetting your grandma, you're laughing.
Sam Pulley - 'Beware of the Dog' Pro Skateboard
This ode to TV's most famous bounty hunter/hair accessory innovator is smaller still, possibly because of Pulley's weird little feet: 31.88 inches long and 8.25 inches wide.
Butt Mud - team skateboard
Yes, that's the Carve Wicked logo written in dog shit: what of it?
Amuse and appal passersby in equal measure with this one, also the smallest of the bunch at 31.63 inches long and 8 inches wide.