These are three of the eight status updates Ste has posted on Facebook over the last 48 hours:

"Stephen Roe I'm Nelly I'm Nelly I'm Nelly I'm Nelllllllyyyyy."

"Stephen Roe wants to be an astronaut when he grows up."

"Stephen Roe is really, really, REALLY looking forward to his 5 hour solo drive down south through the snow and wind and darkness and earthquakes tonight."

So, rest assured, if you were concerned that The Glass Giant may have been quieter than normal lately, Ste is alive, though mainly living through Facebook these days.

During the time in between Facebook status updates and hospital visits, Ste has managed to film a fair bit of footage for "Savoir Faire", which should be premiering in the very near future.

Anyway, Ste kindly found the time to complete one of our "Last Orders" for you all to enjoy. Though I wouldn't take it all too seriously if I were you.

But then again, maybe you should...


Person you spoke to: Myself.

Trick you filmed: No comply, for a change.

Photo you shot: Wallride with smoke bombs and shit.

Country you visited: Spain

Thing you skated in your hometown: Down the driveway to my car to drive the fuck away from Preston.

Skate event you travelled to: Cancer Research thingy in Manchester, I was injured, surprisingly. Didn’t exactly “travel” there either. It’s only 5 minutes away from where I live.

Trick you learnt: Frontside bigspin heelflips on flat. Somehow.

Trick you lost: Pretty much everything that involves my right hand. My wrist ceases to function at the moment, partly because of all the breaks in the past but predominantly due to my drunken phone-box-directed violence the other week.

Time you feared for your life: In Croatia last October. We got super drunk one night and for some reason I decided to go for a run, alone, in a city I’d never been to. Needless to say I got lost in the middle of nowhere in minus zero temperatures wearing little more than a t-shirt and a hoody. To make matters worse, I discovered that I’d lost my wallet (with all my money etc) and I’d left my phone at the hotel so I was pretty much fucked. I ended up sleeping on a park bench convinced that I was gonna catch pneumonia and die and/or get man handled by a massive hairy rapist. Specifically massive and hairy. His name would probably have been Ivancovich too.

Time you were outraged: Yesterday. Power struggle between me and my skateboard. It won. I bled. I snapped it later on though, so I got the last laugh. Yeah, fuck you, skateboard, you prick.

Piece of advice you received: “Don’t get too drunk” - my mum last night before I went out…. I got absolutely fucking smashed.

Song you sang along to: Joy Division – "Leaders of Men", about 30 seconds ago. I think I did a pretty decent rendition, though I don’t know all the lyrics so I just made grunting noises in parts.

Film you watched and enjoyed: "Heima" which is a Sigur Ros documentary. Soooooo good. Need to go to Iceland - you, me, everybody.

Film you watched and hated: "Inland Empire". Had to turn it off before it even finished, I just couldn’t handle it. Shame, because I like Lynch’s stuff generally.

Skate video you watched from start to finish: Shit, it’s been a while. "Fully Flared" at the Preston premiere I think. Yeah, it was good, as far as skateboard videos go.

Skate photo you saw that impressed you: This 3D series that a German guy called Sebastian is doing in collaboration with Carhartt. I shot one with him a few months ago in London, they’re gonna be in galleries worldwide and in a photo book and shit. They’re absolutely fucking ridiculous; like nothing you’ll have ever seen before. I haven’t seen mine yet, but he seemed really stoked on it so I’m really looking forward to that.

Website visited: N26 yo! Steady lurkin’ broooo!

Thing you downloaded: Duffy’s album. It’s very good indeed.

Clip watched on YouTube: “Amazing Predator Rap!” – beyond genius haha.

Your last Facebook status update read: “Stephen Roe is big and clever”

Time you said "never again": Never say never, Trevor.

Meal you ate: Bowl of Lucky Charms. 8 quid a box, but so fucking worth it.

Dagger you made: Just the original Nazi dagger. I’ve modified it since though, it’s got a woven grip and has been sharpened, ready to cut throats and pierce vital organs etc. I’m more into DIY crossbows at the moment though.

Time you were thrown out of a club: Last week for laughing at some girl who was having a seizure… In my defense, I thought she was just really drunk… and dancing… on the floor… while foaming at the mouth.

Person you wished injury upon: That’s not very nice. Nobody.