“Tell Gegglesface Iav dun his questions fur him.” That was the first text from Div about what you are about to read. It was followed 2 minutes later by another that simply read “and dannae change the words either”.

In keeping with Divs wish, what you are about to read is exactly as it arrived in my inbox earlier this week, I haven’t changed one word.

Enjoy…

How’s the plumbing work going?

NAE BAD AM SICK OF IT

Any interesting incidents recently?

EVERY FRIDAY FIRST BEER OF THE WEEKEND AT 3:30PM

You’’ve just got back from Liverpool skating the new bowl and fullipe, how was that?

GUID AYE

Who did you skate with, anything good happen?

SCOTTY MACA ASBO@DRIFTWOOD@JOSH L.B.P N CHRIS WEIR

What else have you been up to lately?

DRINKIN N SKATIN

Skated any new parks/ spots/ etc?

AYE DRUM N BASSIN N SUM SPOTS KINGY TOOK ME TO

How’s your section for Savoir Faire coming along?

A DUNNO NEED A SONG

Who have you been working on that with?

ALEX ‘FUCKIN’ IRVINE N KEV PARROT BUT HES A DWEEB.HA

Weren’’t you meant to go out to America recently?

AYE BUT CANI GO NEED TO GO TAE COURT

What happened?

THE WEE PRICK THT PHONED THE POLIS NEVER TURNED UP THE FIRST TIME TAE COURT

Are you still planning on going out to America?

AYE SOON AS THIS COURT THING IS OVER WHICH SHOULD BE THIS MONDAY

Who’s going out with you, how long are you planning on staying and what are you hoping to do whilst you’’re there?

A DUNNO ALEX MAYBE N SUM OTHER PEEPS AL MEET THEM THERE

How’s Napalm Jeff, haven’t seen him at many events recently, what’s he been up to?

GOIN TO SEE NAPALM DEATH HIMSELF

Powley wants to know: What’s the best number of beers to drink before a skate?

A DUNNO KEEP DRINKIN THEM TILL YE CANI SKATE

Have you ever got so drunk that you can’t skate?

EH AYE

Any funny stories from the recent Indy tour?

MUSON ITS A DOGGY WOGGY FLOGGY MOGGY WOGGY DOGGY(BEN REAMERS ACCENT)

What’s your current music of choice?

ANYTHIN APART FAE ART FAG MUSIC

And lastly, do you think that your cameo street lines in Vans UK tour DVD have ushered a new dawn in street skating?

AW DEFIENTLY YEAH I THINK ITS CHANGED SKATEBORDING FOR EVERY WHY SKATE WHEN YE CAN RUN (FUCK STREET SKATIN ITS TOO MUCH ENGERY INVOLVED)